ihappy: 17 degrees. Spread the Happy. Mobility Game.

“Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.” -Burton Hills

I recently found myself in a truly tragic dilemma.  I was the owner of not one – but TWO ipods! oh me oh my oh woe.  So I thought to myself, “myself, two must become one,” and I set out making it so. 

I decided to sell my ipod, but, almost simultaneously, I decided to give away any money I received.  Now, mind you, I am not inordinately rich, I honestly could’ve used the money… but what’s money?  I needed hope more.  I was tired of complaining about all the wrong things in the world, I was tired of bitching and whining and moaning… I wanted my life to be more about “the doing” than “the saying.”  I needed to believe that people could still be good, and it had to start with myself.

So I sold my ipod for $160 and decided to share what I earned with 16 strangers ($10 each).  But I wanted to do more than just give, I wanted to share the spirit of giving….. and I wanted a glimpse into these peoples lives… I am always fascinated by how beautiful people are whenever I get the chance to talk to them individually (not so much in groups, haha).  So, starting with myself, I asked each of these people to do 4 things for me:

1. Name something, anything, that they loved (the idea for this question was mercilessly ripped from someone else’s bleeding literal heart, or rather, mind. I claim no ownership.).
2. Play a group game called “Eat Poop you Cat.” Basically, the first person, me, writes down a phrase, then passes it to the next person.  That person draws a picture based on said phrase. They then pass the drawing on to the next person, and that person writes a phrase based on the drawing (without any knowledge of the original phrase), and so on until the game ends. 
3. Name the first song that comes their mind (you can find a playlist of all these songs to the right [in the sidebar] under a heading “sharing is caring.” You may download these or listen to them here. [perhaps as you look through the pictures? ])
4. Choose someone else to give $10 to.

I’m really happy I did this.  There’s really nothing more to say, I’m just glad. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Ericsson San Pablo Chu

1. Love. Giving. You.
2. I am not young enough to know everything.
3. Woman – John Lennon

Robert Gagnon

1. My 3 Children: Kyla Dawn Gagnon, Dion Lionel John Gagnon, Rebecca May Gagnon
2. See picture above (I will post scanned higher res versions of each page later).
3. I’ve Got Friends in Low Places – Garth Brooks

Robert was the first person I met willing to do any of the things I asked. I think most of the people I asked prior (mind you, I was only asking a certain ‘type’ of person… someone I thought needed the money) were weary of finding someone else to give $10 to.  Interesting – I faced a similar dilemma earlier in the process…when I was first trying to sell the ipod.  My original idea had the buyer picking the first person, but no one responded to my ipod ads for a good cause (I even put up posters).  So I just sold it regularly and picked the first person, Robert, myself.

Anyway, before I met Robert, to be honest, I was on the verge of giving up.  I got off the skytrain at Stadium, depressed that no one was willing to take a moment out of their lives to do a good thing.   I have no idea why I got off the skytrain, I didn’t have to go anywhere near Stadium, I was sitting there, and I was just like, don’t give up, get off, maybe something will happen.  So I got off. 

I was walking down the sidewalk, moping, and I saw Robert walking the other way, he had his cap out, I wasn’t sure if he was asking for money or not.  haha, so I followed him.  After a minute, I saw him ask someone for change, so I marked him.  He looked back at me at that instance, and, I feel, was kind of freaked out, because, obviously, I was following him.  I am not a good detective.  So I caught up with him, and told him everything, and he agreed readily to play along.  I was so depressed when I first talked to him…I was scared to ask him to find someone else to give $10 to.  I was resigned that maybe I should just ask people to answer some questions and draw stuff.  But our conversation led to me suggesting it (finding someone else to give $10 to), and he did so gladly.  Thanks Robert! 

What I most remember about Robert: Robert loves Bruce Lee movies.

Juniper (A.C. Abbott)

1. Animals, the sun, love
2. Swings in the spring, on grass so green
3. The Walk – The Cure

Juniper was probably the nicest, sweetest person I had a chance to talk with.  She was just so full of life and happy go lucky, so willing to talk and inquisitive.  haha, when I first talked to her, I was still scared that she wouldn’t agree to help me find another person to give $10 to, so I didn’t mention it (thinking Robert was one of kind). But she asked me questions, and our conversation eventually revealed my hope, and she did so with vigor.  She was running around chasing people!

What I most remember about Juniper: her hippiness and her french fries.

Bo Buckland

1. My Wife, Christa
2. See picture above (I will post scanned higher res versions of each page later).
3. Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin

Bo was the guy Juniper chased down.  He was a pretty willing, fun guy, he reminded me of some kind of Grandpa. He told me a funny story about how every day of his life he has managed to find a 10 cent coin.  What can I say? Fuck yeah. 

What I most remember about Bo: his red cart.

Christa Buckland

1. My son, Rocky
2. Swing set in spring.
3.  a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) – Big and Rich

Christa is Bo’s wife, Bo led me to some kind of apartment building, and I waited downstairs for them.  Around this time Robert found me, and told me excitedly that he had found another person.  I said, okay, he said he’d go get her and galloped off.  Bo came back down with Christa, we talked for awhile, then some lady came down from the apartment and told us to to get away from the entrance or else she would “spray” us.  She doesn’t see me initially (I was behind the door), but Christa’s just like, “I’m doing a survey!” and gets kind of pissed off, I say lets just move over a bit, and everything’s okay.  Christa’s nice and all, but a bit out of it, I think she is on drugs, or on the tail end of some kind of hit.  But I tell her to smile, and our conversation is nice.  She introduces me to her friend Ralph…

What I most remember about Christa: huge range of emotions.

Ralph Edward Clarke

1. My family
2. See picture above (I will post scanned higher res versions of each page later).
3. Rock & Roll – Led Zeppelin

Ralph, like most of the guys from here on in, was pretty quiet and reserved. As I talk to Ralph, I overhear Christa and Bro discussing pooling their money and doing something after. I am not exactly sure what, but am slightly saddened that perhaps I am fueling some drug deal.  But I figure that somewhere down the line, my $10 will go to them buying a bed or food, and let it be. 

What I most remember about Ralph: his eyes. They were very, just, quietly aware.

Vi Cardinal

1. Self
2. Stick-Man (Definition)
3. Heaven and Hell – Black Sabbath

Vi was very sweet, and smiled a lot, she was very cordial and pleasant to talk to.  She reminded me of Juniper except a bit older, and a little more reserved.

What I most remember about Vi: her laughing to herself as she wrote down, “Self,” and later, “Stick-man (Definition)”

Mick

1. Music
2. See picture above (I will post scanned higher res versions of each page later).
3. Purple Haze – Led Zeppelin

Mick had a lot of one liners, but was generally straightforward to talk to.  He was always just kind of chuckling to himself almost self-deprecatingly. He gave me some jewelry he found on the street! I think its fake, but my friends a jeweler, so I will ask her… I’m hoping its worth something! If it is, I will give everything away again! haha.

What I most remember about Mick: I could never really see his eyes.

Sarah

1. My Jonnie
2. Go where your celebrated, not tolerated. I’d rather be hated 4 who I am then loved 4 who I am not.
3. Sail Away – David Gray

Sarah was pretty nice.  Later, while I was talking to her referral, Jonnie, she took it upon herself to explain what and why I was doing what I was doing with passerby’s.  She also wrote the most interesting, I think, phrase from a drawing.

What I most remember about Sarah: high energy.

Jonnie

1. Hangin’ out with my girl.
2. See picture above (I will post scanned higher res versions of each page later).
3. Changes – 2pac

Jonnie was pretty much quiet, and answered my questions in a straightforward fashion.

What I most remember about Jonnie: his smirk.

Robby

1. Family & girlfriend
2. Be nice to have one!
3. Us And Them – Pink Floyd

Robby reminded me of Kenny from South Park, haha. He had a self deprecating humor around him.

What I most remember about Robert: again, I could never really see his eyes.

Wes

1. My Girls, Hayly & Sharef, & Trees
2. See picture above (I will post scanned higher res versions of each page later).
3. Just Another Day in Paradise – Phil Vassar

Wes had a confident manner around him, pretty decent guy to talk to.  haha, it was embarrassing talking to him, because his initial answer to my question, “what do you love” was just girls and trees.  After writing that, he went down to add the word, “my” in front of “girls.” As he writes down the first letter m, I guess, “money?” and he’s like, no money sucks, and then emphasizes “MY girls” as he writes down the word, “my.” I’m like oh, not “all girls?” Then he’s like my daughters, and writes down their names, and I’m like oh, and remember why I am not good at being conventionally funny… or maybe any kind of funny at all.

What I most remember about Wes: he said he didn’t care about money.

Robert

1. Money
2. Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
3. Crystal Ball – Styx

Robert was one of the more talkative, curious guys. He was fun to talk to.  He seemed to have a lot of life, I wish I could’ve talked to him more, but at this point, I was getting a bit tired.

What I most remember about Robert: He told me about he used to run a business in the Philippines.

Roy

1. Money
2. See picture above (I will post scanned higher res versions of each page later).
3. Yes

Quiet and to the point. He was only in it for the money, I am sure.

What I most remember about Roy: He wouldn’t name a specific song!!

Robbie

1. Drama
2. More Money More Problems
3. We Fly High – Jim Jones

Robbie was pretty high energy and exuberant.  He was one of those hip hop types, he was interesting to talk to I guess.

What I most remember about Robbie: he was the cleanest person I talked to.

Cheryl Strongarm

1. My 4 children: Alysia, Ashley, Aaron & Arlen
2. See picture above (I will post scanned higher res versions of each page later).
3. Should I Stay or Should I Go – The Clash (I’m hoping this is the song she meant).

Cheryl was the friend Robert, the first guy I met, went to go find.  She was real nice and patient, apparently she had been waiting for awhile. I saw her again as I passed through Tinseltown. She smiled. I think she got something to eat.

What I most remember about Cheryl: She can’t draw Earth. haha.

Gary J. Flickinger II

1. My deceased grandparents, Agatha & Charles
2. Dying
3. What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong

Wes reminded me of the actor Norm Macdonald, except less sarcastic/comedic…. although he was still both. He seemed pretty intelligent (bookwise). It is also incredible that he chose the song, “Its a Wonderful World” to end with, being that he was the unknowing last person.  I wish I had talked to him more… I seemed to talk less and less with people the further I got, maybe I was getting tired.  But, in the end, on the way home, remembering things I had talked about with these people, I was content… more than content, joyous.  Its always amazing, thinking about how every single person you pass on the street, every single one has a life, a history as passionate, as true, and as real as yours.  Its magical, really.  Their are so many people, so many lives… I am lucky to have been a part of these ones.

What I most remember about Gary: I saw him again as I passed through Tinseltown, he stopped me and said thank you again.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” -Aesop

 

Oh Beautiful Day!

What a glorious day! Off to the beach, hooray! hooray! So I’ll keep this post short and sweet… first a, I think, fitting quote to ponder:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Nelson Mandela   

 I love this quote! Let me try to explain a small bit of the reason why, 

It seems so easy to be impartial, to not try, to be “cool,” detached, to pretend not to care… to really drift into complacency… there is comfort in the mask.  But, I think, when you really go for something, allowing yourself wholehearted belief – to really commit, consequence be damned –  the moment that follows is so beautiful, so magical, so profound, it aches…. its worth it.  when you take a chance, jump, you know? 

Its scary to proclaim, “this is what I want, this is what I believe in,” flat out, straight out, no facades, no outs, and run aimlessly, perhaps recklessly, for it… and I don’t think we can always do so, but when we do, I think that is one of the greatest things in life.  Theirs this idea that failure is somehow bad, but … I wonder, to actively try and fail… is their anything more courageous? To embrace it?  Imagine how freeing that would be… to just BE.  And I don’t mean embracing something, like, say, insecurity or arrogance, so much so that either disappears…. but really wearing it on ones sleeve.  I say be insecure! I say fuck up!  I say lose!  Beauty is in the inconsistency, perfection in the imperfect…. every single thing and person I have ever loved in my life, thinking about it, I have never loved for what I thought I would love them for… its always been some almost ineffable quality… the good and the bad, with no division.

And what about what others think?  Understandably, their are people who prey on judging and treating others negatively, feasting on a certain false sense of importance that usually follows… and it would be naive of me to say, forget them! …because, after all, haven’t we all been in that situation, trying desperately to win over a critic, sometimes even at expense of a friend?  All I can say is, a person who is quick to judge, with no concept of negotiation, is, in fact, completely under control of the person they are judging…. they exist entirely reactively.  And then, sometimes people are just different – and thats okay.  Live and let live!  Embracing failure is realizing that I’m not going to be agreed with, I’m not going to be understood, but I’m gonna put myself out there anyway, and let be – the very magnificence lies in the risk.  In the end, we’re all dead, why not live the way we ought to?  

I think, in general, barring extraordinary circumstance, we choose to be happy.  One can either take charge or wait, take control or be controlled.    We have to ask ourselves which position we would rather be in…. for most, or at least for me, its an easy answer theoretically, but a very hard thing to follow through.  

Being the best person I can be, will only make the people I care for better… how can that ever be bad? The world is filled with fear and complacency, because fear begets fear….. how can I then, with good conscious,  give into my own fears of rejection?  I realize then that doing nothing is absolutely something! How can I be a part of that?   I think I would rather be ridiculed, than further such a cycle.

 Its funny, sometimes when I put effort into something, when I try hard, when I am passionate, people look at me strange – “don’t you have anything better to do?”  Shouldn’t it be the other way around!? its absurd – to apologize for caring, for trying.  Sometimes the world seems absolutely backwards.

anyway, gotta go, haha, not so short, huh? maybe sweet?  I think I repeated a lot of ideas I’ve talked about before, but whatever.  Luckily, I type like the wind.  Smile! Hope y’all have, had, or are having a beautiful day!