“Fear Lulls Our Minds to Sleep”

Persepolis is the best movie of the year.  Just kidding.  But it is pretty damn good.

Anyway, I just, or I guess yesterday, watched it, and I really enjoyed it… watch it if you can.  If you don’t know, Persepolis is an animation following a little girl who leaves Iran to escape a, to put it lightly, toxic political atmosphere.  She then grows up in Europe (Venice?), then returns to Iran.  The animation is simple and to the point, and charming because of it.  The story is also semi-autobiogrophical I believe.

What I related to the most in the movie was that it articulated quite well a certain feeling I personally am very much struggling with.  That is, perspective.  Let me explain, the little girl, Chiara, leaves Iran to escape very real problems – war, violence, and some seemingly oppressive traditions (especially in regards to women). She leaves that, goes to Venice and is caught up in relatively lesser problems – relationships, philosophy, social meandering, etc..  But, during parts of the movie, it seems to be those lesser problems that trouble her most, even though she herself realizes there are bigger things to worry about.  She doesn’t necessarily become apathetic, but, rather distracted by these quibbles.

Murjanes Grandmother: “The first marriage is practice for the next one.”

And I relate, because being in Vancouver, where my problems, really, are fairly irrelevant, is like an anesthetic.  I feel numbed to the real troubles in our world, detached from the trenches, and what’s worse is that I’m aware of it.  If I analyze myself, I feel wretched, because I know I am giving priority to selfish endeavors, primarily because I’m afraid to face up to more daunting challenges. It’s like screaming, “look at this pebble” as a humungous boulder looms ominously over.  

150, 000 people die every day, that’s two people every second, what can I do? Why does it matter? What about human rights? Women’s rights? Racism? Politics? Horribly wrong social ethics?  Its insane! 

The immensity of the task is crushing, and I think lulls me, and people in general, to sleep.  We feel small.  A lot of really good people, with genuine thoughts, are, in effect, being termed irrelevant in the grand scheme of things because of this; whether they know it or not, they’re desperately afraid.  And, concurrently, the people in power often shouldn’t be, but are.

 What kills me is that I really believe in the goodness of people.  I really do.  I think they know what is right, but are so enamored with fear, that they let it make their decisions for them.  What’s really scary though is what we can convince ourselves of because of this.  I mean, I see it in my own very choices – in hindsight, I often seem to disregard things that are so obviously right, things that would’ve made me happier (though I’ve often convinced myself otherwise), in favor of things so obviously wrong.  Its weird, because in the moment, I’m so utterly convinced!  And I think its because failing the latter is so much easier – I would rather fail at something insignificant, because if I really cared and failed – Gosh, that would suck.  I am starting to believe that what I want is exactly the opposite of what I indeed want!

So, I’ll end with this, by watching Persepolis, and here writing about it, I realize what I think I actually want my goals to be.  I was talking to a friend, and we both agreed to write simplified lists.  Mine had only 2 things – one of them being to make the world a better place, hers was similar.  I know its quite laughably idealistic, in fact embarrassingly so, but I’m going to choose to believe in it and try to follow through – distractions be damned.  

 

 

I don’t know what I’d do without the internet.

9 times out of 10 people will pick the shortcut, the fastest possible route – see the microwave, the car, the television, the supermarket, the airplane.  The internet.  That’s what technology is all about – convenience, speed.  I think we forget that sometimes the means is as important as the ends, and every step we sacrifice, I think, cheats us of something really worthwhile.  Theirs this concept that one somehow always gains by doing things faster, but a minute is a minute is a minute, nothing is really lost, only negotiated.  We are so bloated, blinded, by the result, we forget that their is magic in the journey.  People like to call the internet an “information pipeline,” and I find that quite fitting.  The thing gushes and flows, giving whatever you want, whenever you want.  

It’s ironic that a little bit of the spontaneity, the adventure, of the now is relinquished in the ever persistent search of it.  I sometimes wonder if all this searching, all this information, serves merely as a distraction; perhaps it is just subterfuge of the mind for the mind.  After all, we pick what link to follow, we choose what article to read.  Are we getting more intelligent?  Or more ignorant?  Are we honestly searching, or, in fact, digging our heels further and further into our own established beliefs with minor gives and evolutions?  After all, there is strength in numbers, and our confidence in ourselves can only be strengthened by similar confidences – to know that somebody else cries “yes!” to our yes is comforting, empowering.  Yet, similarity sometimes breeds only more similarity, we see this in our family, in our friends, and in our cultures. 

People will argue that the internet signals the proliferation of choice, but I don’t know if I agree.  I don’t know if I agree, because I think groups tend to, in the long run, assimilate one another; monopoly, in an ideological sense, is almost always inevitable, and the same runs true with ideas; an original thought is not an original thought, it is an accumulated one.  A “pipeline” implies a source, what happens when we centralize it?  Cultural tyranny?  In the long run, what happens when everything is shared? Dilution or saturation? What happens to choice?  What’s happenned already?  The choice between democrat and republican, socialist and capitalist,  hell, mac and pc, google and yahoo, hd dvd and blu-ray, lcd and plasma, Mcdonalds and Burger King, Telus and Rogers, CNN and BBC,  you have to ask yourself, are these really choices?  I know they are choices, relative to each other, but is that enough?  I’m honestly not sure.  And, in the face of the internet, this scares me.  This scares me because the world is becoming more connected, differences are fading.  I know their are positive to this, such as minimized racism, perhaps greater potential for sympathy, but their are also negatives, because difference is uniqueness. Difference is choice.  Then again, perhaps a little sameness is what this world needs.  I don’t know.