Kanehsatake: 270 Years of Resistance. Must Watch.

“Obomsawin’s film, as part of its undoing of the cultural construction of Mohawk warriors as terrorists, asks the white Western viewer to identify with the gaze of the Mohawk Other that reads colonialism as white state-sponsored terrorism.” – Christopher E. Gittings

Everyone should watch Alanis Obomsawin’s, “Kanehsatake: 270 Years of Resistance.”  Obomsawin passionately captures a certain “Native” point of view, powerfully evoking a sense of empathy; in the course of watching this film, many of “their” frustrations became mine… its upsetting, unsettling, but, more importantly, inspiring.

90% of reservations are operated at states comparable to the third world

The movie is a documentary about the conflict (The Oka Crisis) between a Mohawk First Nations group, and the Quebec and Canadian government.  Basically it shows the Canadian military laying siege to a First Nation’s community in a dispute over land.  The appalling thing is that the land in question was apparently purposed for a luxury housing development and to expand a goddamn private golf course!!  This documentary arose all sorts of strong feelings within me, I physically felt sick watching it.  There was so much senseless anger and violence and hate, it just didn’t make sense, I felt like screaming.  Examples of events portrayed or talked about in the film: townspeople throwing stones at Natives leaving the area, a 14 year old girl bayoneted, media being forcibly removed, and other unnecessary physical violence…sometimes both ways. 

Watching the movie, after awhile, its strange, it just felt so close to me… its funny the things that get you, there was this moment when some guy was just talking to his kids over the phone, and it just hit me…. it was maybe one of the most beautiful moments I’ve experienced on film. I don’t even know if the guy was Native, it doesn’t even matter, its just the contrast between that love and such anger was so startling and effective.

“it’s hard to defend democracy against people who don’t believe in democracy.” -Canada’s prime minister Brian Mulroney

What really scares me though is that this past event doesn’t even scratch the surface of things going on in present places!…for equally, if not more, senseless reasons!  I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if their were no camera there… and to think – those events occurred in Canada… God, I just wonder, what happens in places with zero coverage? With no camera?  And you know what? I don’t have to wonder – I absolutely know!  

At the end of World War II, the common German citizen, when asked, cited ignorance in regards to atrocities committed by their government to Jews…. I find that hard to believe.  And I look at us, basking in our riches, forgetting that, among many other things, we have relatively silently succeeded in annihilating a culture in the process; many of the gains we enjoy in life, are absolutely built on the desperate loss of others.  How will history look back on us?  Fuck history. How will I?  Will I cite ignorance?  Will I say, what could I have done? I’m just one person?  Fuck that. JUST one person?  EVERYTHING starts with JUST one person.  Just.

 There are scenes in the film that are particularly poignant… in which you watch the native “warriors” accost individual soldiers… basically, screaming at them, “how could you do this?”  And it is infuriating, because you realize the soldiers have no idea why they are doing anything, yet still do it.  I think this is a very striking metaphor to society, and myself, as a whole… people everywhere are screaming, “why?” And I have no answer, and because I don’t I do nothing! But, like the soldier, my nothing, is, if anything, a large part of the fuel that feeds the fire… that keeps the subaltern subjugated; if I am not a part of the solution, then I am a part of the problem.  And, I realize, startlingly, that I am exactly that infuriating soldier, I am exactly that madness.

How can I be part of a society that is so willing to turn a blind eye?  I don’t even mean just towards first nation injustices or Canada….this is the world, and I am a part of it.  How can I excuse myself by claiming impartiality?  I can’t claim I don’t know, because I DO know!  I don’t want to forget the messages this movie invoked in me, because I know in the past, with similar things, I have; I see something, on the news, in a movie, and I say, “oh, how sad,” and then go have dinner.  Maybe, at dinner, I talk about it, and maybe I feel better about myself, because, “hey I thought about it.”  Maybe I feel smarter, more noble, because I’m now aware of something others, to a degree, may not be, and now I can point it out to them, “hey I’m smart, and I think about doing good things once in awhile.”  And then  I forget. Its so EASY.

But I CAN’T let myself forget – I can’t just keep talking, and not doing anything!  It doesn’t affect me?! Than I have to go somewhere and MAKE it affect me!  You know? 

“A man who does not know foreign language is ignorant of his own.” –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I look just in the past week, and my heart breaks at what I haven’t done; the uselessness I’ve committed.  I went to go see my friends band play last last night, and I felt good at the time.  Why did I feel good? How could I feel good.  I wonder, the 20 or so dollars I spent that night, where else could it have went?  Could it have fed someone? A family maybe? Could it have saved a life?  The 4 hours I spent – for what? For me? Why?! What did I do that meant anything?  Who am I that I deserve fun?  More importantly, was it even “fun”?  What is “fun?” I tell you now, I feel ten times better doing something as simple as walking an old lady down the street, then I do downing five tequilas.  And if my friends can’t handle that, then I need new ones.  I don’t mean to say, “don’t have fun, don’t be happy,” I mean to say don’t be selfishly happy.  How can I invest in my happiness or enjoyment knowing full well that it is bought tenfold at the expense of another? ….whether through my needless consumption, or what I could be doing, but am not.  I want everything I do to be in the process of something better.  People will argue, you can’t spend every hour doing something worthwhile, talking about things of import, you need release once in awhile, down time.  But sometimes release is the escape that negates action…. for me, especially now, down time feels completely, utterly ugly.   I don’t want to have time for bullshit anymore.  Really, I’ve spent 20 years bullshitting, and, to be honest, I feel desperately horrible.  I am looking for something to believe in, to waste my time on what is fundamentally escapism, in hindsight, is absolutely ridiculous.  I don’t need fun, I need passion.

“A learned man is an idler who kills time with study. Beware of his false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.” –George Bernard Shaw

That said, I don’t mean to be a downer. I don’t mean to say, just focus on all the negative things in life, because don’t.  Their is wonder in this world, and things worth smiling about all the time; catch a breeze, its magical.  Anyway, hopefully I find something I can do in the next couple of days, and then maybe I’ll post about it.  Or if anyone has any ideas, or is doing something, or wants to do something, do tell!

  “It is clear that without Obomsawin’s 1993 film, the history of Oka circa 1990 would be dominated by [Prime Minister Brian] Mulroney’s assertion, reproduced in the documentary, that the armed Mohawks were criminals and illegally wielding weapons.”– Brian McIlroy

 

Strange Occurrence, Ramblings, and Idea for Mobility Game. Ipod for Sale.

So today I randomly met up with a friend, and we had dinner.  While we were talking, he told me about how he felt bad that he had not helped a stranger by perhaps inviting that stranger over, giving him food, maybe giving him a place to stay for the night.  So we finished our dinner, which was incredible, and parted; I walked home thinking about many of the things we had discussed, among them this story.  On the way home, waiting for the bus, a man came up to me and asked me for some change to buy food.  I gave him my double delicious Thai leftovers.  I find it strange and interesting, the events that led up this event. I am always amazed at how good it feels to help someone, I think about it, and I’d be happy if thats all I spent my life doing; the content I feel from making something good is a drug, it wears, the joy I feel from helping never fades.

I sometimes wonder why I am pursuing “art” or film, who am I helping? Asking questions, acknowledging problems, these are things, as an artist, I am tasked with.  But, really, these are not difficult things to do, in fact they are incalculably easy.  Finding a solution, acting on it, that, to me, is something of courage, something truly worth pursuing.  I never feel as content as when I feel I am doing  something of worth, direct effect. 

For this reason, I always feel, for example, despicable at parties – I would rather do something of import and have fun, rather than do something to have fun.  I don’t care who people know, I don’t care what crazy thing they did, I don’t care about how much they drank or how wasted they got or how incredibly cool they are.  I couldn’t give a fucking shit ass less, really.  I care who they are, what they genuinely think, and what worthwhile things they in fact do or hope to do with their lives.  There is nothing I hate more than a conversation about nothing.  If people want to escape into their own ignorance, embrace empty nothings, thats fine, but its not for me.  I would hope that everything I do matters, helps something worth helping.  What I don’t have time for is inconsequence. If all I did with my life was make neat things, party, and be some faux-important person within a midst of, really, self-thanking little shit brats, I say fucking kill me now.  I’m not saying I’ve done anything worth anything, but I’m trying.  

I think about this, and I realize now that art that “speaks,” a conversation about something of worth, should never stop there – the saying should never be confused with the doing.  It is a good thing to be aware, but absolutely not enough; I do not want to be a person who talks about things, but does nothing.  So this got me to thinking about our mobility game project.  I don’t want to do something just cute or irreverent or amusing.  I don’t want to stage an event that gives privileged people something to escape to, without affecting or helping anything but those that really don’t need help at all.  Somebody, somewhere desperately needs help I am not going to be wasting my time organizing a pajama party.  I want to be able to feel that I actually directly helped someone that needed it in the process of this project…. no matter how  relatively miniscule my act.  I realize I can either be overwhelmed by all the things I can’t do, or do what I can; nothing happens, if nothing starts, its simple, really.

MOBILITY GAME IDEA

So I thought about the ipod that I was going to sell.  Initially, most of the proceeds were going to go to my girlfriend, but considering that is no longer existent, and, more importantly, after today’s turn of events, I am thinking something else.   My idea right now is that, first, I am going to document the selling of the ipod.   Whoever buys it has to be willing to 1. get their picture taken, 2. come with me and choose a person to give $20 to, and 3. Choose a song off the ipod or name one of their favorite songs, whichever. The person who is given the $20 has to be willing to do all those same things (except each person that came before the chosen would take/frame the picture).  I would continue doing this until all the proceeds were finished, I am hoping around $180 or 9 people.  I am also hoping the picture could include some game that is passed on to each person, tic tac toe or something.  So at the end of it I would have a game that has been passed between 9 different people, and a playlist (which I will upload and share on my “Sharing is Caring” box on this blog), and good feelings, and be poor.  Swell.  That said, if anyone has ideas to how I could improve this one, or would like to colloborate on something bigger, I am completely open.  All I knows is I’m going to sell my ipod, and give the money away. Oh, and if anyone knows anyone who would like to buy an ipod, or would like to buy one themselves, well, I have one for sale.  60 GB, white, pretty good condition.

10 Things I Realize Taking Transit & google map

1. Falling asleep on a sunny day is mandatory.

2. Old woman either smile at you constantly or hit you with their sticks.

3. When I sit next to someone, because their are no empty seats, but then empty seats materialize I never know what to do.  Do they want me to move? Or will they think, “hey, why is he moving? Do I smell?”

4. Some people have lost their sense of smell, and are determined to make everyone aware of it during the busy morning commute.  I have now perfected the art of breathing through my mouth.  The funny thing is, after awhile, you actually sort of like it. Like a guilty pleasure.  You don’t want to inhale… but you do!

5. If you are with a girl, your chances of strange men talking to you out of the blue increase by twenty. If you ARE a girl, my sympathies.

6. People who don’t give up their seats to people who actually need them are assholes. But sometimes you are not sure whether to give up your seat, is this woman old enough?  Will she be insulted if I offer her my seat?  

7. Some of the greatest conversations occur with fascinating strangers.  The interesting thing is, for the most part, you know you will never talk to these people again… so perhaps, in a way, you are most yourself with them.  And no, I am not the guy from #5.

8. When you first get on the bus, and its empty, you don’t want anyone to sit next to you.  When its absolutely full, and no ones sitting beside you still, you desperately do. 

9. People who stand like pylons on the left side of the escalator are assholes. People who don’t make an effort to make space when the bus is full and others are trying to get on are idiots. But sometimes, especially in foreign cities and new places, you are exactly that person. And then its funny.

10. The larger the group the stupider the people.

 Oh, and heres a link to my google map: google map

 

Oh Beautiful Day!

What a glorious day! Off to the beach, hooray! hooray! So I’ll keep this post short and sweet… first a, I think, fitting quote to ponder:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Nelson Mandela   

 I love this quote! Let me try to explain a small bit of the reason why, 

It seems so easy to be impartial, to not try, to be “cool,” detached, to pretend not to care… to really drift into complacency… there is comfort in the mask.  But, I think, when you really go for something, allowing yourself wholehearted belief – to really commit, consequence be damned –  the moment that follows is so beautiful, so magical, so profound, it aches…. its worth it.  when you take a chance, jump, you know? 

Its scary to proclaim, “this is what I want, this is what I believe in,” flat out, straight out, no facades, no outs, and run aimlessly, perhaps recklessly, for it… and I don’t think we can always do so, but when we do, I think that is one of the greatest things in life.  Theirs this idea that failure is somehow bad, but … I wonder, to actively try and fail… is their anything more courageous? To embrace it?  Imagine how freeing that would be… to just BE.  And I don’t mean embracing something, like, say, insecurity or arrogance, so much so that either disappears…. but really wearing it on ones sleeve.  I say be insecure! I say fuck up!  I say lose!  Beauty is in the inconsistency, perfection in the imperfect…. every single thing and person I have ever loved in my life, thinking about it, I have never loved for what I thought I would love them for… its always been some almost ineffable quality… the good and the bad, with no division.

And what about what others think?  Understandably, their are people who prey on judging and treating others negatively, feasting on a certain false sense of importance that usually follows… and it would be naive of me to say, forget them! …because, after all, haven’t we all been in that situation, trying desperately to win over a critic, sometimes even at expense of a friend?  All I can say is, a person who is quick to judge, with no concept of negotiation, is, in fact, completely under control of the person they are judging…. they exist entirely reactively.  And then, sometimes people are just different – and thats okay.  Live and let live!  Embracing failure is realizing that I’m not going to be agreed with, I’m not going to be understood, but I’m gonna put myself out there anyway, and let be – the very magnificence lies in the risk.  In the end, we’re all dead, why not live the way we ought to?  

I think, in general, barring extraordinary circumstance, we choose to be happy.  One can either take charge or wait, take control or be controlled.    We have to ask ourselves which position we would rather be in…. for most, or at least for me, its an easy answer theoretically, but a very hard thing to follow through.  

Being the best person I can be, will only make the people I care for better… how can that ever be bad? The world is filled with fear and complacency, because fear begets fear….. how can I then, with good conscious,  give into my own fears of rejection?  I realize then that doing nothing is absolutely something! How can I be a part of that?   I think I would rather be ridiculed, than further such a cycle.

 Its funny, sometimes when I put effort into something, when I try hard, when I am passionate, people look at me strange – “don’t you have anything better to do?”  Shouldn’t it be the other way around!? its absurd – to apologize for caring, for trying.  Sometimes the world seems absolutely backwards.

anyway, gotta go, haha, not so short, huh? maybe sweet?  I think I repeated a lot of ideas I’ve talked about before, but whatever.  Luckily, I type like the wind.  Smile! Hope y’all have, had, or are having a beautiful day!

 

   

I Believe! Hallelujah, I BELIEVE!

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.

-Arthur C. Clarke

Good people, today, in a stroke of fate, I read an email from a friend telling me to follow a certain link. That link led me to an astrological profile.  Now, if you know me, you know I was already kind of intrigued by the idea of astrology to begin with…. or at least amused!  But, good God, the addiction has been reawakened!  Re-inspired!  In the past 10 minutes I have learned more about myself than I had ever wanted to….  It is the funniest most surreal thing, and oh so strange! 

Below are some links to astrology sites, I dare you to follow them!  DOUBLE DARE!  Let me know if they give you any insight!  I say hey, you say hey..  I know a naysayer would argue that all astrology writers do is find something everyone can vaguely relate to, but I kid you not, I glanced at the profiles for others signs, and they are absolutely NOT me! But when I read my own, it is god damn eery!  I’d be very interested in seeing what the “success rate” is.

My favorite line is, “for them, everything about life is Big with a capital B”… Hells yes!

Do I believe in destiny?  I think i do.  People like to say, “oh if destiny exists, why do anything? Why don’t I just sit around and do absolutely nothing?”  And to this I say –  try.  Just try.

http://www.novia.net/~aaronk/ast/leo.html

http://www.astrology.com.au/12signs/leo.asp

http://www.ncbuy.com/entertainment/astrology/leo-about.html

http://www.eastrolog.com/astrology-zodiac/leo.php

  

Urinal.

The artist himself may not think he is religious, but if he is sincere his sincerity in itself is religion. - Emily Carr

It interests me that throughout history where religion has been, art also has always necessarily followed (whether it be Russian propaganda films, Byzantine icons, or the Sistine Chapel).  I am not a religious person, in the sense that I do not subscribe to any one conventional “religious” system, but strangely, I would still consider myself “religious.”  That is, I have strong beliefs… even if I am not always fully aware of them; I have conviction, even if I am not always sure how to act.  Emily Carr wrote that “the artist himself may not think he is religious, but if he is sincere his sincerity in itself is religion,” and I relate strongly to that.  Religion is not in a word or a symbol, a painting or a speech, it lives always in one’s own beliefs.

What concerned me most while working on this piece was that very question of belief.  I am at a point in my life where conviction seems a tricky, fickle thing – but an absolutely necessary thing nonetheless.

Just recently, during a media history screening, a film called “Armageddon” was shown.  I found it strange how so many people left, and of the few who did remain, many of them did so only to laugh derogatively at the movie.  I can understand this, I too felt an almost instant sense of…. superiority.  But why?  When judgment comes so easy, it is usually a sign that ignorance is near.  If it is wrong for a “common” person to quickly pass something off as “artsy,” how is it right to pass of another as “commercial?”  Perhaps it is a question of semantics, perhaps not, but I honestly feel that their is worth to be had, knowledge to be learned, in everything, regardless of intent.  An open mind is acceptance, it is strange that in an art school there seems to be so little of it.

“Bad art is always more tragically beautiful than good art because it documents human failure.”

I understand that the backlash is against certain conventions, and blind, ideologically irresponsible decisions (made in the film)…. but, I think, what people fail to recognize is that very reaction is itself convention.  We are spurred by a collective unity.  In this way, “art” is no less a mindless system of thought than, say, Religion or Commercialism, Consumerism or Communism (the “bad” kind).  Like these things, art too seems to have a system of almost taboo arbitrary codes; ways we should think, talk, look, act. What I strive to remember is that this collective identity of “art” has, in fact, absolutely nothing to do with art – Being an “artist” has always been after the fact.

There seems to be a misconceived notion that conviction, belief, and confidence require solidity and foundation… while they ARE a necessary foundation, they should not borrow the connotations of that word.  Belief should never be nailed to the ground, conviction never cemented, rather, they should be in constant negotiation.  Uncertainty is the Mother of all things beautiful and pure. Belief, conviction, confidence – these are things that should be founded on an ocean of constant change.  When judgment is passed without question, judgment should be brought to trial. 

In my piece, formalistically, all in all, there are 10 religions referenced (Christianity [Holy Cross], Judaism [Magden David], Sikhism [Sword, Dagger and Shield], Taoism [Tai-Chi, Yin-Yang], Buddhism [The Dhammachakka], Hinduism [OM], Islam [Crescent and Star], Indigenous Religions [The Quartered Circle], Confucianism [The Trigram], and Jainism [The Swastik Chakra], centered around an outline of Michel Duchamp’s, “Fountain.”  Below is an idea for where I would like to put it and how it would look (though I would be open to other suggestions.)  The only thing I am concerned about is whether the detail within the circle is too fine…. in which case I could take away one of the duplicates and enlarge it (though that would omit Toaism…)… I’ve attached the alternative as well.